Friday, October 14, 2005

what? Only 30%?!?!

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.

Surely that can't be right. I'm the wierdest person I know, well, next to Andy and that's saying quite alot. I'm really not trying to be an elitist or concieted...but I'm an odd bird, no bones about it. I don't even have to try for those odd looks and akward silences that can only come from a true miscommunication. I say something I think is smart, appropriate, or even witty...and then it gets all quiet and I realize I've done it again.
Of course that could be because of some recent news I found out. I've almost always suffered from clinical depression but on Wed. I found out that not only do I suffer from depression, I'm actually severely depressed. News to me and some of my closest friends! Everyone but my husband was surprised. On top of being severely depressed I have . OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), >ADHD(adult attention deficit disorder), and a few other pretty little mental issues with long names. I mean seriously. I think people should offer you dinner before they heap crap like that on you. I don't even believe in ADD ( hate mail, I'm just dubious not ignorant) how can I have it? Then again, tons of people don't believe in God but that doesn't change the fact that He's large and in charge. So yeah...whatever. I did a bit of research with the help of a friend who works in the neuroscience department at Cambridge in NY. He let me know that as of now they believe that OCD is triggered by an overactivity in the ACC (Anterior Cingulate Cortex in the brain), which is partially responsible for evaluating and monitoring the exterior world. So from there I did a bit of dabbled research and found out the ACC is also believed to be responsible for something akin to's the place that has you putting on the breaks long before you ever see that Semi running that red light. It's been called the "Accidental Black Spot" of the brain. If it goes wonky it can cause depression, bi-polar/manic depression, schizophrenia, autism, OCD, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and possibly a host of other boogiemen. Guess how many of those I have? Ok now can you guess which ones? Maybe one day I'll let you know. So you know what? I'm going to do what I always do in situations like this, I'm going to wear it on the cuff of my sleave and reach out to anyone in my situation who needs help because I know I can't do this one on my own. Of course I know I'm not alone, more than family and friends, I have faith. So there it is folks, I spilled my mess all over you. If it sounds familiar, check out the links and get yourself or a loved one some help. Be glad we live in the 21st century and not the 13th...back then you could wind up with a nice exorcism or burning at the stake for thinking a little crooked. YAY for modern science, as shifty as it is.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Mile Marker 5

This is NOT me
Today I finally returned the CPM (continuous passive motion) machine that was sent home with me after surgery. I'm going to miss it, but with that action I can officially kiss my bedridden days goodbye. That's the 5th indicator I've had that I'm really going to come out of this ok and be able to walk again. Physical therapy sessions are broken down into two days a week now but they've started lasting longer. I'm really enjoying the time I spend at PT because my knee always feels better after AND most of those guys are a hoot. I spend most of my time there smiling and laughing in between winces. Today they showed me this horrible yet hilarious email called Who Brought the Nearsighted Kid to the Pool?. It's funny because it's so bad. Sadly the reason they showed it to me is because they were comparing me to him. Did I mention that I'm a total spaz and a klutz? Because I am.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Adventure Book of Needlework page 29

The Adventure Book of Needlework page 29 Posted by Picasa

This is one of my favorite illustrations from a book called The Adventure Book of Needlework by Betsey Bates, the book was written by Dorothy Dunbar Graef and was published in 1958. Apparently ISBNs were implemented after that date because this book has a Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 58-8460. There are some really cute projects in here, but mostly, I just LOVE the illustrations. I love them so much in fact that I scanned them and added them to the Flickr group
Inspiring Images from Craft Books so that it could be shared and loved by many more. Apparently this little gem is selling for $40 online but I was lucky enough to find it for $2 in a used bookstore. It was one of those unexpected finds and I truly am loving it. I hunted around trying to find more illustrated works by Betsey Bates but all I found were some really pretty collector plates. Maybe one day I'll start a collection, but until then, I'll just enjoy the heck out of this book.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Most Prodoctive 24 hours this week.

Yay! Last night and this morning have been the most productive 12-24 hours since Oct. 20th. I finally finished the applique and quilting on a halloween wallhanging I had started last year....or maybe it was the year before...I can't even remember. Now all I have to do is add the binding and it will be done. Hoooray! This is my first machine quilted quilt effort ever. Usually I'm just plain old lazy and make do with ties. Now when I say usually, maybe I should state that for me, usually means the whole two quilts I've made.
Emily and I have also started on our Halloween decorations for the windows of the front door. Since I can't do the whole climbing on ladders and railings this year we don't get to have the traditional creapy front porch littered with gigantic spider webs and bats. I guess I'll just have to make do with the home grown spider webs. Maybe I can coax the black widows out from under the porch for a day. Yes that's right, I have an infestation of black widows at my house. They've resisted Orkin and cleaning so I figure I'll just default to my usual attitude toward spiders. You don't come in my house and I won't actively look for you and squish you. It's worked rather well. The brave spiders that do violate this intrisic rule die a sad and squishy death. But they sure come in handy around October. Maybe I'll just stop cleaning up after the one's living on the front porch and let them do all the decorating.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Walking Wounded

Ok I think I've got this thing down. Had some minor misshaps with the meds, went from Darvocet to Ultracet to emergency room to Atavan to Alieve and a nap. All the the space of 48 hours. But, now I know that all narcotic pain relievers are RIGHT OUT for me. So hey, that's one less habit to kick right? They only removed 4 staples the last visit, but I will be getting the remaining 9 out tomorrow, finally.
Physical therapy is going extremely well and much less painful than I thought. I'll be walking without krutch assistance next week if all goes well. YAY!
During all of this convalescing I managed to finish three detail oriented, time consuming projects AND get a few sketches for future projects done. I hope to get those scanned and uploaded this weekend. I'm still pretty limited in my every day activities. Just the act of finding the camera, taking pictures, uploading them and scanning paper stuff takes a whole day now instead of the half hour to hour it used to take before the surgery. I try not to think about it to avoid depression. This limited capacity thing is only temporary. I DID remember to take pictures of my knee post op and time lapsed this week to show improvement and recovery, so I can actually make a small scrap book about it to remind myself of how far I've come.
Really other than that there's not much going on. I don't like to write about the boring, depressing negative stuff because it doesn't really help me or anyone else. Bad enough that my last two posts were so...dirge like. I'm doing so much better than the last surgery, it's almost unbelievable.
My dad's coming back from Europe next week and I can't wait! He's supposed to be bringing me all kinds of textiles from Montenegra and Italy. Mostly I just can't wait to see him. It's been a few months and being the daddy's girl that I am I miss him something fierce. Here's to praying that his return trip is safe and uneventful.